Sing this in the tune of Kelly Clarkson's "Since you been gone":
(humor me here)
Since you been goooonnnee!!!!!
I've been tweezed for the first time!
No? That's not how the song goes?
Well, those are the lyrics that popped in my head as I sat down to write out this moment in time that must,
be forever immortalized.
Is a story you don't want to miss.
As you may or may not know, I'm currently about 8 hours from home/my husband/my new house as I'm spending the month of February in sunny Florida to watch my super cute nephew during the days as my sister transitions back to work.
Two days before I left Alabama to come down, Hubs and I completely moved into a new house in a new town about an hour from where we used to live.
Wade and I, of course, miss each other. And while I have a hunk of a nephew to distract me, poor Wade is left working, sleeping, eating alone and learning to do life in this new, bigger city.
So, Saturday morning the hubs calls me and his voice sounds strained. I can tell it's going to be something important. Maybe serious? Maybe bad? I'm not sure why, but something in his voice is off.
"So.. umm... I just left the barber down the road from our new house." - Him
Me - "Ok... is everything ok? Did they do a good job?"
"Umm.. well, it was different." - Him
I should stop here and give a little backstory of his old barber.
I mean "old" in more ways than one.
These guys, their on the ancient side.
One client at a time.
Talk about the weather and watch the blue and red barbers pole spin outside the window.
Me - "How so?"
"Well, I go in, and first thing that I notice is that the barbers are all women.
I think, ok, maybe that's normal.
So I sit down and I tell the girl I just want a normal shave/blade 3 cut.
She cuts my hair, and then she tells me that she's going to wash it and put a hot towel on my face." - Him
Me - "hah oh gosh."
"Oh it gets worse.
So, I'm leaned back in the chair and she starts massaging my head and neck." - Him
At this point, I'm laughing out loud at his poor soul. If you knew my husband (no one but me would know this about him, obvs.) he HATES massages. No backrubs, scratches, nada! (I know, he's so strange). So I just know that basically he just told me he was tortured. With a hot towel on his face. (I should also mention how incredibly hot natured he is and how he sweats if it gets above 65 degrees.)
"I'm laying there with my eyes closed, wishing this was over, and all of the sudden...
SHE PLUCKS MY EYEBROWS." - Him
Me - "WHAT???? OH MY GOSH THAT'S HILARIOUS!"
Insert more hysterical laughter on my part.
"Next, I feel a warm liquid on my forehead." - Him
Me - "I'm sorry, what?!"
"THEY WAXED ME!" - Him
To say my laughter was out of control, well, just ask my sister: That's an understatement! I'm really supportive that way. I just can't help but find humor in my husband's uncomfortable situation.
He proceeds to tell me that, at that point, his mind crawled into a dark place until it was over. All in all, He spent 30 minutes (instead of 10 at his old place), $24 dollars versus $9, and he was physically and emotionally violated without warning or permission.
So, after my husband has poured out his traumatizing story, what do I do?
Ask for a picture, of course!
Then share it on instagram, twitter, facebook, and now my blog.
He's a lucky guy.
He's so well groomed.
Too bad it will grow out stubbly. I guess that's why they do it, to make sure you come back for the upkeep!
Oh man. This still humors me.
As a woman, I know how painful tweezing can be for the first time!
Let's just say, I got a bit "tweeze-happy" my senior year of high school...
Yes, this was my first time using tweezers.
Yes, I was blonde. REALLY BLONDE.
Yes, I decided at the last minute NOT to run my fingers through my curls.
Yes, I regret that.
And Yes. Yes I am embarrassed.