This past Fall was full of trials and difficult circumstances. It would be easy to say it has been the hardest period of time we've been though together. Together. In spite of the events this fall brought, we were in it together... and I almost wonder if that was the purpose of it all anyways.
It has been an amazing fall. Wait. I just said it was difficult! Well it was. But still amazing. We were forced to completely rely on God in each situation and that is always a good thing!
I didn't talk about it much (and not at all on this blog), but we went through a miscarriage in October. The whole thing was a complete suprise to us. And from the start it was a rollercoaster of emotions. They doctor had told us we miscarried from the beginning, before I even knew I was pregnant. But it turned out I hadn't. I finally let myself get a little excited (but I was mostly still in shock) and then a few weeks later we lost it. I'm sure you might feel sad for me that I went through what I did, but please don't! God showed up in such a huge way.
We were down in Mexico on our favorite mission field, just for vacation, when it happened. And I'm so thankful for that. The ladies I'd been ministering to over the last 4 years came around to comfort me -- it was the most amazing feeling. Wade and I felt an incomprehensable peace come over us. I am so thankful to have a God who is always looking out for me and that I can depend on in my time of need, and that I have a husband that is a tangible picture of Jesus in my life. I rested my head on the preverbial shoulder of my God and on the actual shoulder of my loving husband. It was such a unique experience in my life.
Its been a few months and I guess going through that helped me get over the fear of my life changing in such a drastic way. I feel prepared now because I've already been through the period of shock. Now I am excited for whatever God wants to do in my life in that area, while before I was praying he'd put it off a few more years!
Another trial we faced was the battle to go to India. We had planned and saved and prepared for our mission trip to India again this year, but in the end it seems we weren't meant to go. After filing the paperwork needed for the Visas ahead of time and waiting and waiting, I began to get nervous and started pestering the Visa company like crazy! I'm sure they loved me. The day of departure came and still no visa - and no reason for why it had not come. That evening, as the team boarded the plane in Atlanta, Wade and I recieved a call from the Visa company informing us that our Visas would be here in the morning. The day after we were to leave. Awesome. I did all I could to try and switch our flight so we could meet the team in New Dehli, but to no avail. It became painfully obvious that God did not intend for us to go this year. It was hard to be told no. I couldn't understand why - it was a mission trip! To serve lost people!!
This is another time when God said, "hey you! loud mouth! quit questioning me."
So I did. And that week was filled to the brim with daily ministry right here in our own community!
And thirdly, poor Wade had a stubborn bout with Staph Infection on his chest, or as I lovingly called it, "The Staph". We discovered it over Thanksgiving and went to the ER in Mississippi (we were visiting family). They cut into him and he was in a lot of pain. During our follow-up with our family doctor, we learned that the ER had not gotten the staph out and it had spread. Wade was scheduled for surgery! (Outpatient, but still!)
He was unsure of whether he would be able to go with us to Mexico the next week. He went, cautiously, but was unable to participate in any of the manual labor. I believe God revealed things to him through this trip by allowing him to experience it in another way and show him different ministry opportunities.
A month later it came back. ugh! And again we were out of town! Luckily we caught it early and no surgery was required. I know it was a hard time for Wade. All of these occurences over the course of a few months forced us to draw close to one another, serve one another, and together depend on God to meet our needs.
I know more than anything that we desire God's will in our lives. Whatever that may be! And I will strive to keep his will above my own, which we can all say is a constant battle! But lucky for me, my God wins out, so I can have faith that if I surrender daily to God he will lead me through a life that is much more than I could imagine for myself. So thankful for a God like that.